I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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