I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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