my soul wont recognize me after tonight
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I am one with the molecules
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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