Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
