I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I said "one day" and that day is not today
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize