Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
