come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize