If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
