Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
