I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
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Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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