Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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