are you still at the devil's house?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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