I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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