Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
