someone get that fucking seahorse.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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