he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
