Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
