the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
