The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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