I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
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Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
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You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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