I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
