singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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