hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Drunk is not a location!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
