Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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