This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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