alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
