I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize