He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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