thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
