Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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