Grow some girl-balls and come out already
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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