Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
