Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize