wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
