My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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