Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize