So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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