# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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