carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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