I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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