Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
