it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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