So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
