How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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