dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
