As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
