i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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