That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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