i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
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