Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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