Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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