is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
hell yes lets make some ravioli
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
