they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
