We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
