im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
