vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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