you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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