Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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