Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
