problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
