I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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