I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
