Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
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I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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