I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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