My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
