dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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